We won't sleep together?
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
