I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
