New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
