Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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