i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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