Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
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I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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