And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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