So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
