i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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