I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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