I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
