I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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