my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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