I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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