u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
