I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
