yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
