i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Green mimosas i think yes
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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