Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
