Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
