I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
