it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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