i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No stitches, just platelets and will power
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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