Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
