somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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