think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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