It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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