So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
