lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
