It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
