Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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