I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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