Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
