why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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