He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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