Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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