If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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