Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
