is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
