Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize