I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
