that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
