Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
