I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
