Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
