So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
