The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
