I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
