Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
