If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
