please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
