I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
