I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
