I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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