): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
