Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
