Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
