I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
