Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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