Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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